Bad Gas

Not a whole lot going on in XXX Land.

The latest news in the finance world has centered around another hedge fund, Amaranth, who managed to lose $6B THIS MONTH^ thanks to a natural gas trade gone awry. Way awry, apparently. If I'd known they were giving money away like that, I'd have written them a detailed letter explaining exactly why they should donate some money to the A Fund, but it seems a bit late for that now. I'm not sure what type of risk metrics they had in place that would permit a massive loss like that to occur ("It seemed like a good idea at the time?"), but to say someone dropped the ball would probably qualify as the understatement of the month. I'm certain we'll continue to read and hear all about the high risks associated with hedge fund investments and the need for regulation during the next week or so (along with e.coli infested spinach), but I'm not concerned about my job stability--particularly since Sean seems to be sticking with his diet. We'll never lose that much money because we'll never have that much in the first place, and we tend to be conservative with what we do have.

Anyway, I was reading a bit more into it and found out that Amaranth was founded by a University of Connecticut finance graduate^^, Nick Maounis. For those of you who don't know, UConn is also my alma mater. While it wasn't Maounis's trade that resulted in this "WHOOPS," he must have approved the positions and had knowledge of their potential repercussions. Regardless, God help me if Michael gets his hands on this juicy tidbit: He hates UConn more than I hate the Nutrisystem woman. Or the smell of bacon. Or trade ticket entry.

It goes without saying that it's highly unlikely that this recent "accomplishment" will be showcased alongside the basketball teams' national championship trophies. While Maounis & Co.'s error wasn't illegal, I think it should still be displayed with some of the other UConn blunders. I secretly hope there's a room buried somewhere in the guts of Gampel Pavilion that displays the various arrest records accumulated by the basketball teams (and associated parties):

2006: Andre LaFleur (Asst. Coach); breach of peace
2005: AJ Price / Marcus Williams; The Great Laptop Theft
Antonio Kellogg; criminal attempt to assault a peace* officer, 1st-degree criminal trespass and interfering with an officer, possession of marijuana
2004: Clyde Vaughn (Asst. Coach); solicitation of a prostitute**
2003: Ben Gordon; 3d degree assault and disorderly conduct
Johnnie Selvie; 3d degree assault, threatening, unlawful restraint and breach of peace
Mike Hayes; possession of a controlled substance, possession of a controlled substance with the intent to sell and possession of a controlled substance within 1500 feet of a school
2002: Rashad Anderson; disorderly conduct
2001: Marcus Cox; possession of marijuana
1999: Khalid El-Amin; possession of marijuana***
Doug Wrenn; alleged shoplifting
1998: Antric Klaiber; speeding and drunken driving
1994: Sue Mayo; breach of peace
Rudy Johnson; breach of peace****
1993: Brian Fair; larceny*****

I guess the good news is if a team member has a hard time getting into the NBA, at least prison is a viable option. Despite the Huskies' obvious lack of a squeaky-clean image, I still love that damned team (and I'll take our bad boys over poetry-writing goody two-shoes any day).

Chin up, Maounis--you have Midnight Madness to look forward to, and hey--you and your team aren't the only ones who may need a rebuilding year. U-C-O-N-N, UCONN, UCONN, UCONN!


* What the hell is a "peace officer"?
**Fun Fact: Vaughan entered a plea deal in which the charges would be dismissed if he 1) completed 10 days of community service 2) attended a hygiene class and 3) submitted himself for STD testing.
*** Entering the draft back in 2000 was STILL the stupidest thing he did during his stint at UConn. As for the weed, maybe it's legal in the Ukraine since that's where he's currently playing.
**** They got in a fight. With each other.
*****According to the police report, Fair "admitted stealing the item and admitted it was a stupid thing to do." Please note that he stole a $4.99 piece of electronics. Stupid doesn't quite capture the idiocy involved with something like that.

ARTICLES
^"Amaranth Losses Swell to $6 Billion After Transfer" - Katherine Burton and Justin Baer (Bloomberg), Sept. 21, 2006
^^"Amaranth Transfers All Energy Trades to Third Party" - Katherine Burton and Matthew Leising (Bloomberg), Sept. 20, 2006