Kitlers and the Threat of World Domination

Once in a while, you get a nice phone call from an old friend. Or, you get a random email.

Subject Line: Actung Kitty!
From: Lovable Lyle

Does your cat look like Adolf Hitler? Do you wake up in a cold sweat every night wondering if he's going to get up and invade Poland? Does he keep putting his right paw in the air while making a noise that sounds suspiciously like "Sieg Miaow"? If so, this is the website for you:
http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com

Take a gander.

Now, the above had never concerned me until I acquired my second kitten. While this new cat in no way physically resembles Hitler, his actions point to a devout interest in world domination. You've been warned. For those of you who are questioning this second cat, I'd like to reassure you that I'm NOT becoming a crazy cat woman--a crazy cat woman must meet the following criteria:

1. her significant other has 4 legs and a name like "Fluffy,"
2. she has more than three (3) cats
3. she has more than three (3) litterboxes and
4. she lacks a social life as well as the desire to have one for fear of failing to care for her felines.

Please let me know if you observe any of these warning signs, and stage an intervention. If you don't, my mother may never forgive you.

Anyway, after carefully reviewing the email and the website for any offensive material (God forbid I breach the moral turpa-whatever section of the employee handbook), I decided to share this with several coworkers (Greg, Katie and Rich) on Friday. Big mistake. Cats that Look Like Hitler has become the theme of the week, beginning with the following response from Rich:

Subject: Allied Cats against Kitler
From: Rich

Rich's next step was to deface Jessica's poster of Coco Crisp (she had taken the day off) with a Kitler head. The office is comprised of devout Yankee fans, and it's safe to say that Rich is one of the more rabid ones. This being said, the circumstances surrounding her interview/hiring process remain a mystery to us all (obviously someone forgot to ask the important questions). She likes to leave Sox paraphernalia around the office for the sole purpose of pissing off Greg as he's hyper-sensitive to the Red Sox propoganda. Exposure induces curse-words, convulsions, stuttering and other idiotic behaviors. She's taped photos to the fridge***, brought in a Red Sox children's book, various posters and I think there may have been an action figure of sorts. Anyway, a little printing, cutting and pasting later, the transformation was complete. Jessica now sits next to Kitler Crisp.

Rich's borderline obsession with the website continues, and he insists on sending me any news story that could point to overzealous Kitlers. Today's headline:

"Over 100 fowl killed when rockets hit farm near Maalot" www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3281794,00.html

I'm going to take Rich's word as he is becoming the resident Cat Man: This is indisputable proof that the apocalypse is on the horizon, and its heading toward us with paws flexed and hair on end. The good news? It wears a bell collar, so you'll hear it coming and apparently it likes its belly rubbed.

***Note: This is also a practice adopted by those who are betting that Greg will lose weight by December in an effort to keep him far, far away from the fridge. They do take the necessary precautions, however, and handle these materials with industrial-strength gloves.