Moral Turpa-wha?

Moral Turpitude: It is critical to our organization that all employees exhibit high standards of personal conduct. No employee shall conduct himself/herself in any manner which could bring dishonor or embarrassment to XXX. Anyone found to be involved in criminal, inappropriate or unprofessional behavior is subject to immediate termination. ~ Employee Manual

I've "officially" been reprimanded once at work. Back in January, the crew had tired of trading GregFat futures and decided that all males would weigh in each week. Their collective weight would be the basis of the "Tons of Fun (And More!)" market. As a joke, I sent out the following waiver:

I, the “Tons of Fun (And More!)” participant, in consideration for my participation in the “Tons of Fun (And More!)” (“the Program”) offered by XXXX, also known as XXXX and , do hereby covenant and agree to the following:

Program. I understand and agree that:
1. I will be weighed in each and every Tuesday, and that Beth will take all measurements. These measurements will be kept confidential unless I refuse to weigh in, at which point all of my previously recorded weights will become widely publicized. In the event of Beth's absence, Jessica has been selected as an alternate judge;

2. I will neither tamper with the official “Tons of Fun (And More!)” scale, nor will I alter my own weight by any unnatural means (i.e. carrying heavy objects in shoes/pockets). Suspicion of this activity will result in the enforcement of airport-like security. Consumption of excess water is permissible, however, is not advised;

3. If more than half of all Exchange participants are absent, weigh-in will be canceled. A trading session may still be held at the discretion of the attending members;

4. In accordance with the “Tons of Fun (And More!)” NO-SHOW policy, if I do not attend the weigh-in, I am responsible for weighing in as soon as possible. Failure to do so will result in punishment determinable by Beth, Jessica, A, Katie or any outside party holding a grudge against me;

5. I will not try to influence fellow market participants through any means that may be detrimental to his or her health. This includes tainting food and/or intentionally causing physical injury.

6. XXX, its employees or agents, have not provided me with any warranties or representations that participation in the Program will improve or enhance my physical condition, appearance and/or self-esteem.

7. XXX may collect and obtain data as a result of my participation in the Program and use such information in internal reports or publications. My identity will not be associated with my specific weight unless I give my consent to do so.

Waiver and Release. I acknowledge and agree that:

By signing this document, I declare that I have no known medical problems that would preclude my participation in the Program. My Participation in the “Tons of Fun (And More!)” program is completely involuntary, but regardless, I assume all risk of injury or contraction of any illness or medical condition that may result, or the aggravation of any pre-existing medical condition I may have, or any damage, loss or theft of any personal property resulting or arising out of my participation in the Program. I understand and acknowledge that my status as a “Tons of Fun (And More!)” participant may subject me to ridicule, embarrassment, taunting and/or peer pressure by fellow exchange participants and/or observing parties.

Now, I found this to be pretty neutral. I tend to be pretty conservative when determining whether or not something is "appropriate" before sharing it with coworkers. I'm not here to offend anyone or to hurt feelings. I'm here to work. I hit "send" with the expectation that the message would be received with some chuckling and eye-rolling, at worst. One miscalculation later, I was sitting in a closed-door meeting with a very reluctant Michael. He informed me that one of the recipients was concerned about the potential legal ramifications a "document" like that could create, and while he personally was not offended or worried about it, it would be best if I didn't send out material like that in the future.

Today, someone (who shall remain nameless) prefaced the forwarding of an email by stating, "Just remember, this was sent to me by a large white man who grew up in Tennesee and currently resides in Alabama." He then disseminated a photo to the firm entitled, "Fatal Overdose," which shows a Black man laying down on a sidewalk next to a McDonalds cup and several large watermelon rinds. I will not discuss whether it's funny or not--that's strictly a matter of taste/opinion, but I think most people would agree that this most certainly was NOT appropriate for the workplace. Another email forwarded from the same individual a month ago: "A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.This is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them."

Don't get me wrong here--I appreciate a good joke, and am not easily offended. Generally speaking, I am not a serious person. If, however, you are going to discipline someone for sending out a fictional waiver that is neither sexually nor racially sensitive, the examples above should also be disciplined, no? Apparently, if we can't pronounce a section in the handbook we don't have to abide by it. I need to work on my mispronunciation of "attendance." At-ten-dance? Attend-ance? Atten-dan-ce? I'd better go home and work on this.

(Aside: That British company is really on to something! I've heard there will be a variety of chips offered (A - dPods), depending on the size of your speakers...)